9-1-1

It's amazing to me that I can see an image or hear a news story and immediately I'm taken back. I am sitting in Dr. Halaby's Fine Arts class on September 11, 2001. A a girl bursts into class late. She announces that the World Trade Center has been hit by a plane. We watch the news for a while, a second plane hits. I'm stunned and the rest of the day is a blur. Classes were cancelled and all that's clear is that I couldn't peel myself away from the television for hours and hours. I watched the news and just couldn't shake this overwhelming sadness about the whole situation. So many dead. So many missing. For what? For days I had such a heavy heart. I got upset with my peers who seemed to go on about their days enjoying cancelled classes as if nothing had changed. For me everything had changed. 

My dad was at the Sears Tower in Chicago when the tragedy happened. At the time, many major landmarks and business centers were suspected targets. Flights were cancelled but luckily he was able to keep his rental car and drive with a few others back to Texas. It wasn't really that close, but it felt so close to home. It easily could have been him, us. Everything just seemed so scary, so unpredictable. I just needed to see him and be with my family because it was such an overwhelming and emotional time for me. I spent the four-hour drive home in silence. 

I realized then how important family is- how important my family is to me.  It was comforting to see them and spend the weekend at home. I can't remember, but I'm sure that I talked my mother's ear off about all that I was thinking and feeling about the events. I went back to school after the weekend, but I was not the same person that I was the week before. 

Some may think I'm crazy, but my heart was just broken for the men who executed those attacks. They were so devoted to their cause, clearly longing for their lives to count for something. What a tragedy that they were so lost and deceived that they intentionally caused harm and injury to so many other people in the process. What could they have done with all of that passion and fervor if it was channeled into something positive? Their desperation was life changing for me. I realized that there are people all over the world who are desperate and longing for something greater than themselves. I knew that I had to be willing to share with others about the love and hope of Jesus because He is the one that changed my heart and filled my longings. In October 2001 I signed up to go on a summer mission trip to Taiwan. I can honestly say that my team and that trip were catalysts that changed the trajectory of my life. I've had the privilege to go to several other countries to share the love story of Christ with many over the years since then.  

Years later I went to NYC and saw the site for myself. Debris was still being removed and memorials still lined the area- the gaping wound still bleeding from this tragedy. 

I couple of weeks ago I went to the GW Bush presidential library with my mom and sister. The museum is really a treasury of artifacts from his time in office and I really enjoyed reading letters and memos and seeing all sorts of other little details that we rarely get to see from the president. Lots of things caught my attention, but I can't seem to stop thinking about the September 11 exhibit. Huge twisted rebar beams hanging from the ceiling of a rotunda lined with the names of everyone who died in the attacks. Video footage of the towers being hit, timelines of the day, photos and 911 calls playing in the background- it all just took me back again and I cried. I remembered the day, the fear, uncertainty and tears, and then I remembered how it changed me. 

Today the 911 memorial was unveiled in NYC and I've seen and heard news stories about the ceremonial dedication. Again, I saw the gaping holes where the World Trade Center towers stood, now filled with pools of flowing water- a sign of life. I saw pictures and items from the site and all day I saw and heard snippets of news stories honoring the lost, praising the heroic and remembering the way this tragedy changed our nation. 

I still feel such comfort to remember how our country came together to rally around the 911 victims and families. I still feel hopeful to know that there are so many stories of people who sacrificially helped others and rallied together- to know that we still have so much good deep within us. I still feel humbled at the way that God used this tragedy to open my eyes to the world around me.

It seems crazy to say, but I believe that beauty has come from the ashes of 911.